Dr Sarah Owens
by ilikeureldawand
Summary: Dr. Sarah Owens is asked by Dumbledore to join the faculty at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a counselor, but in returning to Hogwarts, she must face her past.
1. Chapter 1

She stepped out of the taxi and glanced at the small golden watch on her left hand. It was 10 o'clock p.m. The street was dark and the meeting wasn't until 10:30. Sarah had tried to avoid this situation. Normally, she preferred to arrive to every occasion early. In fact, the Owen family motto is "if you're not early, you're late." So she was surprised to find, for the first time in her life, she wished she was late. She imagined herself jumping headfirst back into the taxi, and telling the driver, "Just drive, as far away from here as possible. Into the ocean if you wish."

She peered about, searching for a park bench to rest on and waste a little bit of time. Say, oh, about a half of an hour, but no luck. The street was empty. She collected her leather briefcase and bright red suitcase from the backseat. Clumsily, she dug through her jacket pocket to find fare for the taxi, almost pulling out her wand. She had just discovered a large bill, when the driver snatched it out of her hand through his window and mumbled, "thanks lady," under his breath.

"Yeah, okay, YOU'RE WELCOME!" She yelled at the back of the taxi, which was getting smaller and smaller as it sped away. "I needed change damn it." She had lived in the muggle world for too long, and had grown dependent on muggle money. She rather liked bills, and the way the paper felt in her hands. American money had a certain smell to it, which she found lovely.

It was a short walk to 12 Grimmauld Place and she considered how fitting that name was for how she felt at the moment. Grim. She had decided to have the taxi drop her off one block away, you never knew who was watching these days. Even taxi drivers couldn't be trusted. But maybe her red pumps weren't the best shoe choice for a brisk stroll. Her wheeled suitcase made a light whirling noise on the concrete sidewalk as she walked, which Sarah found soothing.

She reached the oversized black door in no time, lifted what felt like a twenty pound door knocker, let go and waited. Seconds, which felt like minutes passed, and Sarah turned and began walking down the stairs. Her courage had left her. And who knows? Maybe she had the wrong 12 Grimmauld Place. Best to leave quickly and speak with Dumbledore at Hogwarts, she thought. "I don't really need to be a part of this meeting anyway," she said aloud, "I don't have anything to add."

"Sarah! Wait a minute. Where are my manners? What I meant, of course is, Hello _Dr._ Owens!" Sarah was seized at the shoulders by Arthur Weasley, committing her to an overzealous hug.

He let go, leaving her frazzled, but relieved. Arthur had a way of relieving the anxiety of even the most anxious person, and Sarah was always anxious.

"Arthur, my friend, stick with Sarah. Doctor is a formality we will reserve for the students of Hogwarts."

Sarah had been approached by Dumbledore, during a typically slow day at the Ministry of Magic. She had been doodling little intricate flowers on a notepad when he had knocked on her office door. Of all the people that could have walked through that door, she had never expected Albus Dumbledore.

Sarah Owens was a clinical psychologist, specializing in adolescents and trauma. She had earned her Ph.D. from a muggle University. After her graduation from Hogwarts, she moved to the United States, and, though it took a small (or rather large) confundus charm, she was accepted into Vanderbilt University. She never felt as though she had cheated her way into college. Sarah had earned it. She just didn't _technically_ have the qualifications to attend a prestigious muggle University with a diploma from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even if she was head girl.

"Sarah it is then. We miss you at the Ministry."

"You're a terrible liar Arthur," Sarah snickered, "An entire year at the Ministry and I only had one patient. **Ever**. I know all of you thought I was a joke."

"And not even a funny one at that, my dear. Psychology is such a serious business. A bore really. We should leave that magic to the muggles," Arthur said solemnly.

"I'm surprised at you Arthur. You always struck me as a man who could appreciate muggle accomplishments. Modern psychology is not restricted to the muggle world. We have the same brains, and the same hearts," she replied straightly.

"You are quite right," Arthur said, reconsidering. "Come, come! I've had enough lingering around front doors. Let's have a butter beer."

"How about a fire whiskey?" Sarah asked, lightheartedly.

"A fire whiskey it is," Arthur said, leading Sarah into the kitchen.

"Molly, may I introduce Sarah Owens. We worked together at the Ministry. Sarah, this is my wife, Molly Weasley."

"Sarah Owens! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Molly said, looking up from what was obviously quite a feast she was preparing, so late at night too. Knives were flying across the kitchen, and onions floated by Sarah's face, causing her eyes to burn.

"The pleasure is mine Molly," Sarah responded, reaching out her hand. Molly chuckled and wiped her floured hands on her apron, pulling her in for a hug. _Must be a Weasley thing,_ Sarah thought.

Molly circled around to continue cooking, "Sarah Owens at last! I've heard so much about you," Molly said over her shoulder, fiddling with a can of broth.

"Only good things I hope, but I didn't really have the best reputation at the Ministry," Sarah said.

"Oh that is unfortunate dear," Molly said, giving Sarah a sad look, "But no, Remus and Sirius have told me a great deal about the infamous Sarah Owens. You are featured in so many of the stories of their youth at Hogwarts. I'll admit, I've had some laughs at your expense. All in good fun," Molly chuckled, mentally recalling what was probably a story which would make Sarah blush.

"Oh, yes," Sarah replied, "many memories." She felt the burning in her eyes again, and she looked around for the floating onions but found none. Unsurprising, recalling her youth at Hogwarts inevitably lead to her thinking of Lily and James, and she always had tears when she remembered them.

Molly's back was still turned to Sarah, so she didn't notice. "Sirius is certainly looking forward to seeing you," Molly told her surreptitiously, "Certainly indeed; he gets a little sparkle in his eye when he talks about you."

Sarah found herself speechless by this knowledge. She thought about the taxi which had left only minutes ago, and daydreamed, yet again, about riding away. She had dated Sirius during their Hogwarts years off and on, and wondered what kind of stories Sirius had shared with the Weasley's. When she left for the United States, they resolved to break up permanently.

During the first war, she took a break from her education and came to fight, where her relationship with Sirius was rekindled, once or twice (or several times). She had run back to the States shortly after Sirius was arrested, and she finished her education. She returned just one year ago.

Her thoughts were broken by a clink of glass on the large wooden table in front of her. Arthur had set down a shot of fire whiskey and Sarah immediately picked up and tipped the glass. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Nothing will bring you back from daydreams and into reality quite like fire whiskey. She placed a somewhat forced smile back on her face. She thought, maybe it looked forced, and quickly wiped the smile off. Sarah never knew what to do with her face.

Finding a bit of liquid courage, she said to Molly, "Yes, yes, I was absolutely good friends with all of them, and I'd like to think I still am. Speaking of Remus and Sirius, are they here?" She inquired. She checked her watch, nasty habit, it was 10:12.

"Remus should be here shortly, and Sirius is cleaning out the study with some of the children. It's the second door on the left down the main hall if you'd like to say hello," Molly told her with a smirk as she grabbed leeks out of midair, "I'd imagine Sirius would like that very much."

Sarah continued to sit there, considering better to just wait here. She wanted to see Sirius, but she wasn't sure he wanted to see her.

"Does Sirius know I'm here?" she asked, signaling Arthur for another glass. He kindly complied.

"Well, he knows you are coming my dear, but he must not know you are here. He would be in this room if he did," Arthur said, kissing Molly on the cheek.

Sarah nodded. She stood up and nervously adjusted her black pencil dress yet again. She had always been tremendously anxious, and she thought Sirius might find it amusing she hadn't lost this. She had poured over psychology books at her years at Hogwarts, trying to figure out techniques to soothe her anxiety. Before she left for college, Sirius told her she was pursuing her degree to fix herself, "but you can't always fix crazy my love, and I'm not sure I would like you as much if you were fixed," he had told her, kissing her lightly on the nose.

She staggered down the hallway, not sure if it was her anxiety or her drink, maybe both. Each step felt like a mile, and the noise of her heels was deafening. She kept her eye on the second door on the left until it was right in front of her. Breathing a heavy sigh, she opened the door and peeked in.

There were three redheaded boys quarrelling in a corner. Two looked precisely the same. The twin on the left was holding a black garbage bag and the other was gripping the third, slightly smaller, boy's collar.

"You are going to help us clean the cobwebs Ronald, or we will tell mother," he threatened. The other twin had an enormous white smile across his face.

"Yes Ronald, we will tell mother you are being unhelpful," the twin on the right repeated.

Obviously Weasley's, the red hair was a dead giveaway.

She scanned to the left of them, and the racket of the room disintegrated into white noise. Sirius had his back turned, looking at a framed portrait on the wall with a shorter, black haired boy. Harry Potter. They were discussing something in quiet voices. Sarah decided to leave, but a loud creak of the door gave her away. Sirius turned around and caught her eye; a smile erupted across his face.

"Well, that can't be Sarah Owen's. I know it can't. She went and disappeared," he put his hands into the pockets of his velvet formed vest and strode towards her, with a swagger he hadn't lost. The white noise evaporated as he reached her. He gestured for a hug, and she nervously moved towards him, adjusting her dress. They embraced, her heart racing, and she wondered if his was too.

"You look as beautiful as ever," he whispered into her ear. As they let go, he straightened and seized her gaze once more, "as beautiful as the day I first laid eyes on you as a matter of face."

"You're almost as bad of a liar as Arthur," she said, aware of the wrinkles that had started to form around her eyes, "almost. But I'll be inclined to believe you because you are certainly just as handsome. You always were the best looking man in the room. Age suits you well."

"Yes, prison did wonderful things for my complexion," Sirius said sharply. Rapidly changing the subject, "Harry, come here." Sarah was shocked as she watched Harry walk towards her. She had met him once, when he was an infant, and now he was almost a man. She could see so much of James and Lily in him.

"Harry, this is Sarah Owens, a longtime friend," Sirius introduced, "Maid of honor at your parents wedding this one."

"It's a pleasure to see you again Harry," Sarah said, forcing the words to come. She embraced him, (maybe the Weasley's were rubbing off on her) and it was closer to Lily she had felt since she died.

"The pleasure is mine Ms. Owens," Harry said, prying her off of him. She might have hugged him a little too tight for his comfort.

"And this is Hermione Granger. Smart one here Sarah, smarter than you perhaps," Sirius said snidely.

"Dr. Owen's! I'm Hermione Granger, er, yeah like Sirius said. And I've heard of you! You attended a muggle University! First witch to ever attend! You have a degree in clinical psychology. I've read about it in several books at Hogwarts. It is so great to meet you!" Hermione said frantically, reaching out her hand for a shake.

"Ms, Granger, you know more about me than I do," Sarah said, shaking Hermione's hand, which was a little damp with anxiety. She felt a kindred spirit in Hermione.

"And that is Ron, and the twins are Fred and George Weasley. Look out for the twins, trouble makers they are," Sirius informed her.

"That's the Black calling the kettle a pot," Fred said, snickering. George punched him in the shoulder for making such a stupid joke, and the two cackled. Sarah had sisters who were twins, and she had always wanted one herself. She felt like having a twin must be like having a secret only two people in the world are in on.

"It's so nice to meet all of you. I'm sure we will become fast friends. I will, after all, be joining you at Hogwarts this year," she notified them.

"Oh! Are you the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Ron asked, excitedly.

"Well, no. Professor Dumbledore has asked me to come on as a school therapist actually. During these troubled and turbulent times, we may all need an ear," Sarah told them like she was reading from a pamphlet. She knew from the expressions on the teen's faces, she was making a bad first impression.

Her brief moment of calm dissolved into mental chaos, and she became nervous once again. She adjusted her dress and checked her watch, 10:24.

"Well again, it was so great to meet you all. I look forward to getting to know you better. Sirius," she said, turning to him, "the meeting is about to begin. Shall we?"

Sirius reached for her hand, "lead the way love."

Hermione gave a tiny gasp and she could feel stares on them. They were all confused by this gesture. She thought she heard the twins whistle as they walked out of the room, hand in hand.

They made it a few paces down the hallway, when Sirius opened the first door on the left and pulled her in.

He closed the door slowly, so it made no noise, and turned to face her. She closed her eyes preparing for a warm hello and was starkly awakened by his cold voice.

"Where did you go?" He asked, finally showing what she had been afraid of, pain.

"You had been arrested Sirius! I thought … I thought what _everybody_ else though. What Remus thought, what Dumbledore thought, what the **entire** wizarding community thought!" Sarah said desperately. "I mean Christ Sirius! You were convicted without a trail! I thought they must have indisputable evidence."

"Do you want to know what I thought?" Sirius asked, waiting for an answer. She nodded as small as she felt. "As I sat in Azkaban, hanging on by a thread, I thought that if all others thought I was a traitor and _murderer_ , if I die in here, I thought there was at least one **goddamn** person who would _know_ I was an innocent man. And that was a comforting thought, maybe the only one the dementor's never took away from me. Do you know who I thought that person was?" he asked in an angry and raspy whisper.

"I … I do know you," she said, a tear streaming down her face.

"I know you've been with the Ministry for over a year. So Sarah, how long have you known I was here, alone with a hippogriff? When did Dumbledore tell you?" Sirius asked, intent on honesty.

"If I'm being honest," she paused, "four months ago," she said, never looking up from the floor, focusing on her tears splashing on the hardwood.

"Four fucking months," he repeated. He opened the door and closed it behind him, leaving her alone.

After a bit, she was able to slow the tears. There was nothing she could say to defend herself. She had assumed Sirius was guilty of the murder of 12 muggles and of her friend Peter. The grief she had felt when she lost Lily and James clouded her judgement. Grief changes people, it certainly changed her, and at the time she assumed it changed Sirius, for the worse.

And she had known where he was for four months, since the day Dumbledore payed her a visit at the Ministry. She asked about him but she hadn't come. She chose to stay away. Why? Out of fear, she thought. She had only seen that look Sirius had just given her moments earlier once before; it was the look she had on her face when she found out he was arrested. It was the look of a person utterly betrayed.

She noticed a dirty mirror hanging on the opposite end of the room, and she adjusted her dress as she approached it. Her makeup had not run, thanks to a little charm she learned from a friend, but her long and wavy chestnut hair had become disheveled. She must have run her hands through it dozens of times after Sirius left, attempting to soothe her own emotions. She took a hair band off of her wrist and pulled it into a knotted bun on the top of her head.

"You look like a doctor," she said to herself awkwardly in the mirror. She went for the door.


	2. Chapter 2

As Sarah was making her way back to the kitchen she ran into Harry Potter in the hallway. He grinned at her, a very familiar and kind smile, and she returned it.

"You were quite good friends with my parents, but maybe even better friends with Sirius?" Harry asked, but it wasn't really a question.

Sarah smiled, nodded and hurriedly replied "Well Harry, I'd love to continue this conversation, but I must get to this meeting. An Owen is never late." And with yet another nervous tuning of her dress, she swiftly made her way back to the kitchen.

Molly was still cooking up a storm with the help of Arthur. He was whispering in her ear, causing her to snigger like a school girl. She couldn't intrude.

On the other end of the room, Sirius was sipping a fire whiskey and listening to a rather dirty man, who was rambling about his business exploits. Sirius was nodding in rhythm. She sat down at the table, several seats from the men. Soon, she noticed silence, and the sleazy wizard had stopped talking with Sirius and had focused his attention on her, looking her up and down.

"Take a picture Mundungus, it will last longer," Sirius said, with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"I do have a few camera's for sale Sirius, if yer interested," Mundungus said with a flashy smile. "I don't think we've been introduced ma'm. My name is Mundungus Fletcher," The man, apparently named Mundungus inched closer, "and now's the part where you tell me who you are."

"Mr. Fletcher," Sarah nodded, "My name is Sarah Owens." Mundungus smelt like his name sounded, and also heavily of cigar smoke and stolen bits.

"Ms. Owens, tell me about yerself," he requested, his stale stench slapping her in the face. "A woman like you must have plenty of stories to share."

Sarah cleared her throat, "Well, there isn't much to tell Mr. Fletcher. I graduated from Hogwarts with Sirius here, eons ago it feels like, and I recently moved back from the States," she gestured to Sirius who didn't look up from his whiskey. "And I um, I am joining the faculty at Hogwarts this year at the request of Dumbledore, who I very much admire, and I also like dogs." Sirius snorted. "But enough about me, you sir, tell me about yourself."

"Not much to know about me Ms. Owens," he said with a crooked smile, "I'm a simple man, a man in business and that's about all."

Sirius laughed boomingly, "if business is what you'd like to call it Mundungus."

Sarah blushed. Sirius' laughter had an infectious quality. She cleared her throat and Sirius finally looked up from his glass. At first it was an annoyed look, but she noticed it softened ever so slightly.

"Sirius, do you imagine I could get one of those?" she asked, gesturing at the bottle of fire whiskey placed next to his glass.

"One thing I've learned about you Sarah, is you can do anything you put your mind to," Sirius countered.

Arthur, eavesdropping from across the room but oblivious to the tension, brought Sarah a healthy glass of fire whiskey and patted her on the back.

"Sarah knows the mind is a powerful thing," Arthur told Sirius, "she's always trying to dig into the minds of Ministry employees," Arthur suddenly became quite solemn, "but what she doesn't know, and this is a powerful secret, are the minds at the Ministry are overwhelmingly empty." He began chuckling, "ah, times with old friends. Charming!"

"Indeed," Sarah said, feeling as uncomfortable, if not more, as she was when she first arrived. This was Sirius' family now, and she was acutely aware she was no longer a part of it. Hogwarts couldn't come soon enough.

Sarah remembered her briefcase underneath the table, and while sipping her drink, she opened it and began to finger through old paperwork. She wasn't reading anything; she didn't have any work to do. She was just keeping herself busy, to avoid saying something stupid. Fire whiskey is a hell of a drink, even in small quantities, and she was on her third glass.

She heard a deep and familiar chortle from behind her, "Do I spy an old friend?" Sarah quickly spun to greet Remus Lupin, who had a happy demeanor and an earnest smile on his face. She rose immediately to give him a hug as true as his expression.

After Remus greeted the room, he sat across from her and they immediately began regaling each other of their exploits for the last fifteen years, the kind of conversation only old friends can have. She had become lost in the moment. These moments are infectious, and Sirius had arisen from his lonely spot at the head of the table and moved closer to them, drink still in hand. He patted Remus on the back and sat next to Sarah. His gaze was focused on Lupin but he had noticeably become less tense.

"Remus here, went and got himself fired from his cozy job at Hogwarts," Sirius told Sarah, amused, "too bad. Don't do the same Sarah, or we'll be a group of outcasts, all living in this dump."

Remus scoffed, "even I'm not enough of an outcast to live in this shit hole." Sirius let out another one of his booming laughs. In no time, more members of the order had filed into the kitchen and space was getting tight. It went from quiet chatter to a loud roar of people. Sarah remembered Mad Eye Moody, not a man you forget, but also met quite a few new people, including a extraordinary woman named Tonks with bright red hair that changed to pink right before her eyes.

The last two people to enter the room were Severus Snape, who hadn't aged as well as Sirius or Remus she noted, and Albus Dumbledore, who had always looked old, at least for as long as Sarah could remember. But this was the first time she had seen Severus since they were students at Hogwarts, and she knew she must try to develop a cordial relationship with him. He was certainly difficult, but she had training to deal with difficult people.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and a hush came over the room – all eyes were on him. He always had this power over people. It wasn't fear, it was respect.

The meeting began.

Two hours later, only twice interrupted by teenagers listening at the door, the meeting was over. All information was new and education, albeit horrifying, to Sarah, but none seemed to enlighten or surprise longer and more knowledgeable order members. These meetings seemed to echo similar themes from the first war. Sarah had never thought she would be reliving those days, and yet here she was.

Dumbledore was the first to leave, without saying much of a word to anybody.

Surprisingly, Snape nodded to Sarah and began working his way through the crowded kitchen to address her.

"Sarah, it's been a long time," he said, bowing slightly.

"It has been Severus, but it appears as though we'll be seeing a lot of each other this year," Sarah smiled, "I look forward to working with you."

"Pardon, but I'm not certain Professor and school therapist," Snape shuddered at the word, "qualifies us as working _together._ "

"Well, then what a relief Ms. Owens must be feeling at the moment," Sirius chimed in from behind Snape. Sarah noticed, standing next to Sirius, Snape was quite tall. He seemed to have learned to stand up straight, and not to hunch his back like he did when he was an awkward teenager.

Snape looked down at Sirius and scoffed, "Speaking of work, I see you dusted the kitchen before we arrived. It looks absolutely lovely," Snape turned his back on them and left before Sirius could get in another word.

But Snape's snide remarks didn't seem to bother Sirius, as he took his place next to Sarah, and the loud chatter of the room cloaked them in privacy.

"You really are striking," Sirius whispered. Sarah thought she noticed the sparkle in Sirius' gray eyes Molly had mentioned.

Mundungus captured Sirius' attention, pitching a sale for discounted hippogriff food. Sarah checked her watch, 12:46 a.m. "Excuse me, Mr. Fletcher, if I could steal Sirius' attention for a moment?"

"These deals simply can't wait Miss, flying off the shelf you know," Mundungus told her, flipping a coin through his dirty fingers.

"I'm actually quite certain that hippogriff feed isn't flying of the shelves, so if you'll excuse us," Sarah replied sharply, and a surprised Mundungus took the hint and shuffled off.

"I have to leave for my hotel," she told Sirius, "it's well past midnight. I don't know if I'll see you before I leave for Hogwarts. I know I'm not in a position to ask anything from you, but I'm going to ask this. Will you forgive me?"

"Sarah, the school year doesn't start for another two weeks," he said, tapping his fingers on the table impatiently, "why wouldn't we see each other again?"

"I know, I know, but I have to make my way up there well before the years starts," she began looking for her briefcase and suitcase, they must have gotten moved around in the crowd of people, "I need to get my office ready, meet the teachers … and frankly, I assumed you didn't want to see me again. I know the pain this has caused you already."

Sirius gripped her chin lightly, and moved her head to face his.

"Will you stay a little longer?" he asked, "you're welcome to stay the night. The rest should be leaving shortly and the children are in bed. We need to talk."

Sarah checked her watch habitually, the small hand had only moved twice. "Yes, of course I'll wait."

Sirius began working the room, hinting to the others it was time to leave. After a goodbye embrace to Remus and a good night to Arthur and Molly, Sarah was alone in the kitchen, surrounded by half eaten plates of food and dozens of empty glasses and bottles.

Sirius was walking Mad Eye Moody to the door, and she could hear the low tones of their voices but couldn't make out what they were saying. The sound of the large black front door closing told her they were alone.


End file.
